Saturday, November 14

Women as strong as Oaks!





Our lovely Tia Lupe known as Mary Guadalupe Gil passed away on October 7, 2009 at 3:35 am. To some she was known as grandmother, great grandmother and even great great grandmother. However, to me as she always put it, I was her daughter. She is such a kind lady, truly a lady in every sense of the word. She worked at the Restaurant for decades retiring in her 80's. She always had the most elegant clothes on, even if it was just because she was going to call a taxi to take her to downtown Provo. When I was a little girl in downtown Provo there was a Woolworth's and JC Penny's. The Penny's had a candy counter in the middle of the first floor. The Woolworth's had animals like birdies and fishies that we loved to see. She would take us after we, more specifically I, begged and begged. She was always afraid that if she took us out by herself we would wonder, get lost or even worse get kidnapped. After walking around downtown we would eat at the soda fountain/pharmacy or walk to the Village Inn that was next to the old Hotel Roberts which has also been torn down. Those were wonderful days in my childhood. As I got older and was able to drive I would take Tia to stay in hotel's in California. She liked to stay at the Little America. Truth be told she liked any hotel, any adventure and any excuse to go out. She believed that money was to be used for spending.

Tia had a stroke almost a week before she passed away. She was 92 years old and this still caught us off guard. She was in the hospital long enough that her only son was able to tell her he loved her, her grandchildren could come to see her from California and until she was ready to go. I was the only person with her when she passed, and even as I express these simple words, they do not express the true feelings of love that I had and continue having for her. Let us just say that I was the only one in the room with her when she passed but we were not alone. It was a blessing, honor and privilege to walk by her, look up to her, support her, care for her, as she did all these things for me as her daughter. In reality although the legal title between us is great aunt and great niece (because she was my grandfather's only living sister), to me she was my grandmother, one of my best friends and confidants.

There are so many wonderful memories of Tia Lupe that perhaps I could write them but I know that I could never do justice to express in words what I really feel.

Tia passed away on the 7th of October and Mamá Felicitas went sepsis on us the following Friday. She had to have a surgery and then was admitted to the ICU for a few days. She missed the funeral and slowly recovered, In doing so she realized that my Tia was really gone. There's was a relationship of that of Ruth and Naomi in the Old Testament. Two women of faith that although did not share blood shared the unifying gift of love. Grandma was merely 15 when she married and Tia was 12 years older. They lived together for almost 60 years. This separation was the most difficult to watch. Yet, I know there is a plan for each of us. One that can not be rushed or controlled. It is what it is, what we need the most and that is why these things happen.

Below are pictures of Tia in her apartment on her 90th birthday. Grandma was there and we took advantage that so many great grandchildren were around to share this.

Families are Forever, I know this better now then I did at the beginning of the year.

Papá said grandma was as strong as an oak tree, in my opinion they are both women as strong as oaks . . . and that is the truth.




Sunday, September 6

The Truth about change . . . got some?

Change is a hard one to describe or to really like. I have had lots of change the last 4 months. I wonder how much change can occur so that I may maintain my wonderful sense of humor?

The truth is that I understand change-it is a natural part of life.

It seems interesting that just a few months ago at the beginning of May I felt like everything was so in place in my life. It felt perfect, I was content. I noticed that the seas of life were calm. No highs or lows just calm. It seems a bit of a premonition now to say that I just felt like everything was a bit too calm and before I new it- it all changed!

I had been accepted to grad school and a new job found me. I state it that way because at the end of April I had no intention of a job change but this opportunity came to me and I accepted. What I accepted is 6 preps and 7 classes to teach. This is a challenge but Teaching is my passion so this change is just that a change.

The Masters program at BYU has been a challenge and this week I learned that the challenge continues to grow and deepen. I don't have time to state all that needs to be done but it is a lot including projects, readings, buying books and organizing an internship. Still more change.

After those major change, I realized that I really needed to refi my home. This is a process that I started about a year ago and for some reason or another it never materialized. I happen to find myself in the right place at the right time and this summer it happened yet one more change.

My calling with the Young Women has come to an end after 13 years. This has been hard but I am accepting of this change because I know that I have given all that I have had and now it is time to grow in another area. I guess it's the end of an era... and the beginning of something else via change.

My health has had good times and not so good times. I have had a lot of anxiety recently and I'm not sure why? Hmm. . . I wonder. . . could it be all the change?

So the truth is that change comes and it is not easy. Now the sea seems rough and I wish I could have those calm times back. My only reassurance is that the truth about change is that is the only constant in every ones life, therefore I am not alone. Call me ridiculous but that gives me peace of mind. The other fact that I have dealt with in my mind all day long is that I am finally and completely an adult a change that I fought with for more then a decade but now I realize I am what I am.

So the truth about change is that it comes when things are calm and constant, that it comes to all of us and that I never have enough change when I have to buy something that is $X.07 . . . and that is the truth.

Wednesday, July 22

My Garden...






is beautiful! I love love love having a garden. The pictures are worth a thousand words . . . I can't say any more... except that I should probably need to learn how to can.

Monday, June 29

Chicken to Eagle

Wow! Grad School is more then I thought it would be and it is all-good. If all of my classes are this challenging yet this fulfilling I will be a redefined version of myself, better if possible. I am taking two courses this summer and I have learned so much in both of them and I have only had 5 class days. OK, Ok, so this is a synopsis and when I say synopsis I mean short not too many details, Basically things that make you go hmm . . . summary.

Foundations of Educational Leadership

Ok so this last week we have been talking about what a leader is and what kind of a leader we are? Two questions that are difficult to answer. As my brother said it is easier to identify one then to define one. So my Ah Ha! Moment this week was a clarification that occurred to me. When I was about 21 or so I remember coming home from the restaurant crying. I was so sad because some one had not done what I had told them to do. The specifics I don't remember. . . but the jest of the story is that I came home crying to complain to my grandfather. I told him the entire story and he started to laugh. WHAT?! Where was the sympathetic, I love you, you are my favorite granddaughter good advice that usually (and still does) sooth my soul. No, not any of that came out of his mouth. The louder he laughed the more I cried. I was hurt and felt that my one protector had turned his back on me. Once he was able to compose himself, He said in a stern voice that only he had "Belinda, eres tan tonta" for those of you who don't speak Spanish basically he told me "Belinda, you are so dumb". Well as you can imagine my already hurt ego just fell apart. He continued to give me some advice that I never understood. See, I insisted that he make me a manager. In my mind EVERYONE would do EVERYTHING that I said if I had the title thus making me the leader. He then explained to me that everyone who worked at the restaurant owned it and that I had no right to a title just because I was his granddaughter. Well, since I didn't get the warm fuzzy nor a title handed to me I was done, done with the conversation and outburst. I honestly never, never understood that until this last week. See my grandfather use to tell one of my aunts that he was not raising chickens, but that he was raising eagles. Eagles that could soar and see beyond what a chicken could see. As we spoke about the difference between a manager and a leader suddenly my grandfathers teaching became almost tangible for me. I am more convinced today then ever that my grandfather was a visionary man, a man with insight and wisdom that has and continues to bless my life. He was for every intent and purpose a leader. He was some one that inspired and motivated others to be better and do better for themselves. What a powerful legacy he has left for me to ponder as through life I go through the transformation of a chicken to an eagle.

My second class is Multicultural Education a Holistic Approach. Well for those of you who know me, you know that this is right up my alley. Had there been a multicultural program anywhere in the state of Utah . . . I would be there. Well my greatest Ah Ha! Moment in this class so far is how broad culture really is. I have always felt privileged to have such a rich culture as a Mexican-American. However, now I have learned that we all come from varied and rich cultures. I love the fact that last week after class, Rachel, Cassie and Mariah went out to dinner with me and we discussed our cultures. The cultures we spoke about included the obvious ones of ethnicity, language and food. Then we got into deeper ones like religion, age, gender, divorced children vs. traditional families, birth orders, and so many other things that I honestly feel guilty for thinking that I was so unique because I was bi-cultural. Yes! Being raised as one of only a handful of Latin families in Provo in the 80's & 90's was a cultural experience I will never forget or regret. However, we are all multi-cultural. We all bring different experiences to the table that should be looked upon as strengths and not weaknesses or a deficit such as my culture was perceived to me as a child.

Really this masters is making me think about things I had never thought about and it is worth every dang penny I do not have. . . and that is the truth.

Friday, June 19

April, May and June

I know . . . I know . . . before the rainbow comes the rain . . .
Yes the truth is that I am a loser blogger and have to look at my journal to see what has happened the last three months to write anything here. I will try to do a quick catch up since life has come at me fast. Not that it is an excuse for not blogging.
FEBRUARY
At the end of February my cousin JJ and his wife Jazmin were sealed in the SLC Temple with JJ's children Angel (9) and Alex(8). It was an amazing experience to share with them this kind and special moment. One unexpected thing that was a real treat was seeing President Boyd K. Packer walk by the sealing room in the temple. It was like is it really him . . . YES it really is him! The entire experience was well waiting for. We had all held it together until the kids walked in the room all dressed in white. Then it was like on cue everyone started just crying so much. We were honestly all overwhelmed at how beautiful they looked. Suddenly I realized
that we were crying so much that we had scared them so I tried to compose myself because Angel was looking right at me. I winked at him and then we were ok.
MARCH
The first week of March we had incredible opportunity to help Mamá Felicitas give the José M. Rubio Lifetime Achievement Award to Elia O. Ware of Provo, Utah. I was so happy to be a small part of this. She is an amazing woman that has taught in the public school system for many years here in Utah county. She is an inspirational teacher that deserves many more recognitions. One really neat thing about her is that she was the first citizen to carry the 2002 Olympic torch in Provo. Did you know that? A Mexican grandma that is as
sweet as can be held that torch high and proudly as she received it on Center Street in Provo. That was as amazing sight to see. Sharing this evening with the Ware's was really special.

In March I also applied to the Educational Leadership Program at BYU in other words I will be studying to be a school Administrator. Why Administration? Well there are several reasons. First of all I feel like our schools really need some representation. It is horrible to know that the school administrative system is similar to the old boys club. I feel that it is time to infuse that club with some color and flavor. . . and where ever I go my latin music will go with me! I also believe that as a bicultutural and bilingual product of the same system it is time for me to give back. As an administrator my influence for good will be able to reach more. At least that is the plan for now. Like I said I applied in March and had an interview at the end of April and I didn't know anything until almost May. It was craziness figure out for a while if I was or wasn't going back to school. I had a 2.5 hour interview process where we were in an interaction with other people and then had to interview with a BYU Professor and a local Administrator. It was a long process but when I left I felt confident that I had done well. My hope is to learn how to be a better leader, that my strengths will become stronger and that the weaknesses I have or don't recognize I have will become strengths.

APRIL
The best thing about April was Spring break. . . I'm not gonna lie. Truth be told usually the longest month for a school teacher is March. No breaks, no holidays, Nothing to make it
through. So when April 13 comes along we are all ready for a little break. I didn't do anything too eventful but I did start my garden. In April I just prepared the bed and I planted the first week of May. However, the cold freeze of May killed many plants and I had to start over. The picture is what my garden looks like right now. The soil is really sandy in the garden. However, I have conditioned it and I think that is why the veggies are doing so well. Basically what happens is that it rains or is watered and it sucks all the water to the roots. All you have to do is dig about half an inch and it is moist soil. As they say looks can be deceiving.




MAY
On May 8, 2009 I received the Outstanding Educator Award 2009 for Provo City School District. It was a real honor to receive the Award and to be recognized for 9 years (5 as an aide and 4 as a teacher) of fun. Honestly the hardest thing about being an administrator is not being in the classroom. I hope I can find a way to be there with and for the kids because I love my interaction with my students. That is why it was so hard for me to leave my job at DMS at the end of the school year. I have had an incredible opportunity that although I felt like I had no choice but to leave, I was able to start a new job at Mt. View High School the Monday after I ended at Dixon. It was an emotional goodbye as you can imagine. I am not one to do anything for too long and my job at DMS was the most stability I had found since . . . hmm. . . high school? So moving on was a big kick in the butt to try something different and at the end to grow and become a better teacher since, I will be teaching the opposite spectrum. At Dixon for the last few years I have taught Spanish 1. Now I will be teaching AP Spanish and Honors. Crazy I know but good. I already love my new students and my new school. I'm not gonna lie the room is a little bit smaller and NO WINDOWS . . . but the upside is that I have a door to the computer language lab in my classroom so no fighting!

JUNE
So as you can expect June has brought many new changes with a move in job, starting Grad school and life in general. So far the best thing that has happened in June was the birth of
Carmen Leticia Ayala who was born on June 7, 2009. She is my brother and sister-in-laws third baby girl. She is so beautiful and it is fun to have a new baby in the family.

Ok so I will try to be better and do better as the summer continues . . . there is still camping at Ghoblin Valley, Grad School, and my birthday plus lots of other fun family activities. Like the picture below shows the camera is always in the purse because you never know when a Kodak moment such as this may occur. (My mom with Rachel's kids and the kids with JJ's kids after lunch June 09).




Sunday, February 8

TARGET!

Sometimes I feel like I'm a target but I never felt like this would be the case at Target. I was there late last night on invitation by my wise crack of a brother whom I love dearly. We were doing some shopping and each had our list . . . however, we verged from it quickly. I managed to buy a great pair of sun glasses that I didn't need, especially not late at night. He ended up with some gifts for his wife.
I paid first and saw the security people looking at me as I placed the already paid for glasses in my purse. I instantly felt the red bulls eye on my forehead and that sick feeling came upon me. As we approached the door, I knew it was coming. Now I must add that for those of you who have never been stopped before because you like like everyone else, I envy you. I knew it was coming as they made direct eye contact but they had NO reason to stop me until I walked through the metal detector with my brother. Of course it went off and I was stopped. Now to the benefit of the Target security guard he was really polite and approachable. He asked me for my receipt and stood patiently as my brother started making remarks such as "It's her. . . she has something in her purse," and "She has had this bad habit for a long time." The security guard laughed most of them off as he waited patiently for me to pull not only the sunglasses but the receipt which was already buried at the bottom of my small purse. (I hate large purses . . . and I actually hardly ever carry one). The guard thanked me once he saw that the sunglasses in the purse were mine and told me that if the detector went off again then I should just ignore it. "Ignore it", said my brother, "if it goes off again throw her to the floor and frisk her!" I turned and told him, the guard, that I would never go shopping with him, my brother, again.
Bulls eye . . . and when we got out to the car we realized that it wasn't my glasses but his stuff that set off the alarm. Ironically he just sat there, throwing out anything he could to diverge attention and it worked because at no moment was he asked for his receipt or if they could take a look in his bag. Targeted at Target . . . and that is the truth!

Friday, February 6

25 Random Things


ok ok . . . Enough of you have sent this to me that I guess I'll send it back.

1. I am truly bilingual . . . I dream in English and Spanish depending on who I am talking to, I mostly think in English when I have to do something but when it's inner thoughts I think in Spanish. When doing a Spanish to English simultaneous interpretations if the speaker says something In English I say it in Spanish with out losing a step.

2. I didn't know I spoke Spanish until I was 8. I thought everyone else did to.

3. I can't wear my hair down and I blame living in a restaurant family for this and my Mexican abuelita that always put my hair in braids and big bows!

4. My grandfather was my best friend, my confidant, my father, my cheerleader and living example. . . when I do something wrong or dumb I can hear his voice . . . usually laughing at me.

5. I can watch Sleepless in Seattle, You got Mail, and Serendipity over and over and over again!

6. I once went to BYU International Cinema and watched an Argentine movie called Valentin. I loved it so much I found it on Amazon and bought it. I call it my Che movie.

7. I am a traditional girl. . . I love traditions . . . especially those that have to do with family like holidays, birthdays, family home evenings. I often instigate family get togethers as an excuse to maintain or create a tradition.

8. I am the oldest, and as an old Mexican witch doctor told me once . . . I was born to be a leader. My brother would say that more then a leader I'm bossy.

9. I knew I wanted to be a teacher when I was about 8 years old. I fought it and then realized that I was fighting against a calling . . . I am a teacher at all times.

10. I started working when I was 5. Cleaning the stairs at El Azteca. My grandpa had a special brush for me. I started working half nights (5-8 pm weekends) when I was 11. I had to fill the red cups with water and fix the trays for the bus boys once I knew how many people where in a party.

11. I bought myself a 30 year mortgage 2 years ago and get to live in a small yet beautiful hose I call home, close to work but I will not reveal the location since I have students that often add me to their friend list.

12. I teach Spanish at a middle school in Provo and Fridays are my excuse for Culture which include, food, películas and my favorite Merengue and Salsa dancing!

13. My very loving grandmother use to send me to kindergarten with a hot dog sack lunch. Even though it was only a half day kindergarten.

14. I have the worse allergies all year long. In the summer it's pollen and grass, in the winter it's dust and the inversion . . .anytime it's dogs and cats.

15. I have served for 12 consecutive years in the Young Women Organization in my LDS Units. The first six on the ward level and most recent six on the stake level. When you add the six years I did as a Young Women that adds up to 18 years which is more then half of my life in Young Women 52.65% to be accurate.

16. I hate math and never learned it until I was in college and thought of it as a foreign language. . . then it made enough sense to read, but I am not fluent!

17. I am a hopeless romantic . . . ! enough said.

18. I was engaged for about a week two years ago. I was sure, he wasn't, thank the Lord everyday I got over it.

19. I have a red kitchen . . . it's HOT!

20. I love BYU Football. I use to watch the games and report to my grandfather because when BYU won we would have a good evening in sales, when they lost it would be an average night. For years I remember my grandfather saying to me "somos buenos" "we are good" in a very matter of fact way. When LaVell and Patty Edwards ate at El Azteca during the week BYU would win. They came to my grandfathers funeral. I always forget to buy season tickets so if anyone ever has an extra . . . call a sister up!

21. My star run ins: Donny Osmond literally bumped into me on Univ. Ave. during the 4th of July parade a few years ago. I gave him a crusty look and then realized it was him . . . a Channel 4 news anchor hit my parked car once (I'll let you guess who it could be) . . . when I go to Sundance I see Robert Redford. I have also met Jared Leto in Manhattan, David Hyde Pierce (Frasier) in LA, Jason Alexander (Seinfield) in SLC, Della Reese in SLC, Weezer in SLC (got a tour of their bus), and Kalimba in Mexico City. I remember when Kevin Bacon filmed Footloose in Utah and live a block away from where the diner in the movie is.

22.Besides my family I have three true best friends. One that has lived close forever and I met when I was about 8. One that lives in Morelia. and another that lives in Provo and I don't know what I would do with out her . . . she and I . . . we do desserts!

23. I love to travel and hope I can do at least one tip anywhere this year. My dream is to visit South America and Europe before I'm 40.

24. My bosses were my principals at one time. Gentry Director of Personal for the district was my MIddle School principal and my current principal, was my principal at PHS.

25. I have lived more with my grandparents then with my own parents. I was lucky that way because I had two sets of parents, two homes, and two curfews (LOL)! In essence my family (mom's side) 2 grandparents, parents, 4 aunts and uncles, 17 first cousins and 26 second cousins (which call me tía) 4 nieces and 1 nephew are my life. The moments with them are the moments I never forget, the moments with out them I always regret.

Saturday, January 3

New Year's Resolution!


My New Years Resolution . . . enjoy the little things which means I have to slow down to recognize them, see them, and enjoy them.

This is my nephew Gabriel . . . setting the example.

Friends . . .

This old John Denver song Friends is a song that was adapted a bit for a year of girls camp . . . a long time ago. After having dinner with my childhood friends at PF Changs before the end of the year, it came to mind and I think it is perfect to read along with the pics.





The crew: Not all of us in fact we are missing more then half . . . probably the better looking half but we do pretty well in defending ourselves (Isma, Tania, Rachel, Me, Rocio, Guero, Juan, Keri and Birgitta)

















We have only known each other for 24 years or so. . . we don't look a day over that so we must have met in the hospital as new borns (Kerina, Birgitta and me)



What a friend we have in time Gives us children, makes us wise Tells us what to take or leave behind And the gifts of growing old Are the stories to be told Of the feelings more precious than gold Friends I will remember you, think of you Pray for you And when another day is through I'll still be friends with you (John Denver)






Me very excited and freezing because we were by the door. My siblings minus one (me, Ismael, Tania and Rachel) my all time and eternal Best Friends.







Our excuse for getting together since Juan serves our Nation in Colorado when ever he is in town we call it an occasion to celebrate!
(Rocio, Juan, and Guero)
Guero, Cynthia, Keri and Birgitta cheese it up for the cameras.
Ok so what did I love about this night? There are rare moments in life when you are laughing so hard you feel like you are going to suffocate. This evening was one of them. We represented by being loud Latinos and I know that PF Chang will never seat us in ths middle of the dining room again. We were laughing so loud that the cooks were looking over the glass partition just to see what was going on. These are the kids I hung with, the girls that knew all of my secrets and the boys that never took us to Prom. . . ha ha ha I had to throw that in some how! All though it is not my beef . . .
Anyways this was one of the funnest things I did this winter and I just wanted to share . . . the truth . . . I love dinner with old friends!